I'll buy you a vibrator, we can get married for tax benefits, and live happily ever after with lots of doggggs.
I just went to a subway where the girl didn't know how to make a blt. I will not miss public school texans.
He wanted to put Kesha on after he came in my mouth. I had to draw some sort of trashy, gay line.
it is entirely possible that the police will be knocking on the door in 25 minutes
There is ecstasy everywhere. Get over here right no5w. The 5 is silent.
He was sucking my nipples then stopped, looked me dead in the eyes and said "im gonna cum for my babygirl"
I FEEL like I celebrated someone's 21st, but really I just celebrated Tuesday.
It isn't possible and the very mindfuck of that concept gives me a lady boner.
I just wanna say I did some math and I lasted 1,052,000 more minutes than you at the bar before I got kicked out. That's 729 days. Bitch
So, when I got arrested, they fingerprinted me. I'm getting my nails done right now and I'm pretty sure he's filing off my prints. Worth the $30.
Apparently I've told this bouncer I stalk him on Instagram 3 times. I should stop drinking. I only remeber saying it tonight. early sign of Alzheimer's
Nothing quite like walking through a spider web on your way back in from smoking to fuck up a perfectly good high.
just pleasured myself to USA hockey beating Russia in the shoot out. god bless America.
BRIAN AND ANTHONY SPOON FED MY BROTHER MACARONI AND CHEESE WHILE HE WAS FUCKING ZARA. THEY WENT TO HIGHFIVE HIM AND ZARA WAS LIKE "WOO!" AND HIGHFIVED THEM FIRST
There is no rule that you can't be in a room with more than one dick that's been inside you.
Randomize
