how is it that boston is so bitchin and the rest of massachusetts sucks so much?
how is it that you still think "bitchin" is an acceptable term anymore?
I saw your purple underwear in the road this morning.
She's Christian and monogamous. Two wammies right there. No amount of convincing will turn that bi for a night.
would he be offended if i told him that "national coming out day" is october 11. thats subtle enough right?
I am trying to think of a way to make alcohol cupcakes
i really care about you, respect you, another gay word, and another gay word... lets just drink
he stopped talking to me after i tried to use his body as a surf board
just used my nephews bottle to take my birth control
our flight took off 8 am and the bar didn't close til 5, so we decided it was a good idea to just stay out all night. Drunk logic is awesome. We were all scared we wouldn't get let onto the plane
I love shooting for the middle. Those girls never wake up well.
just gonna show up naked this time. that way i dont have to worry about finding my clothes tomorrow
You know how I know she's ugly? 97% of her profile pics are flowers or animals. And what do we know about pretty people and the Internet?
I have no inclination to even want to think about what God's existential meltdown is going to be like. O.o
Woke up this morning with a darth vader helmet and a bath robe on with my toenails shitly painted
When I told her I was deaf and took my hearing aids out at night to sleep, she said it must be nice not having to hear drunken roommates having awkward sex late at night.
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