haha i took a picture of myself naked on her camera
She didnt have a camera...
you would have Pina Colada flavored saliva.
IM INA KID IN KING ATURHTS CUNT!
A Kid In King Arthur's Court? Like the movie?
CUNT. CUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUNT
I wish sober me loved running as much as drunk me...
Dude, everyone in your family has slept with that girl. Her vagina is like the Hindu version of a Bar Mitzvah.
I'm challenging a 70 yr old alcoholic woman who is half my size tonight. Wish me luck
On a lighter note, the guy I gave a lap dance to then fell asleep on his crotch just facebook friend requested me..
She was moaning so loud as i walked out of the room her roommates gave me a standing ovation... i think they are next
I was THIS CLOSE. But drunk me wanted to play those washboard abs with a spoon, like an actual washboard. Apparently that hurts, so I just squished it out at home alone.
You have all semester to unpack your car, quarter jello shots only last until 10.
It was going very smoothly until she noticed my boner of hope.
She's like the sister I never had that I want to bang.
Is it possible to hurt your vagina working out, because I think my Dumbass accomplished that... 😯😟😒😓
Do I even want to know?
You know it was a good night when you wake up w/o a shirt in someone elses living room next to a pancake on a spoon in a bowl of spaghetti.
Also, we can't be seen together looking suspicious or sexually satisfied
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