so he tried to quietly tell me my Tampon String was hanging out in front of his family but i didn't hear him so he yelled it
Lets get really high and only speak Spanish to each other again tonight
Don't remember much from last night, but I recall slipping you the tounge. For that I apologize
not sure if I should be concerned that my brother just stormed into my room and looked at me with a serious face and said, "I'm a peacock, you have to let me fly." oh, vicodin...
So last night I learned something new. Whenever I drink beer out of a bottle a random guy buys me another one. It was like as soon as the glass hit my lips every guy in a 20ft radius got a hard on.
He did not appreciate the "you did reuse the diamond" comment when looking at his new fiance's ring.
Found out I slept with someone who likes Pitbull. I really should get to know someone better before I sleep with them.
What's it called where you go to the stripclub with two guys that have both gone down on you...
Tuesday
That all sounds beautiful. All I have to offer is my shining personality, extensive amounts of space knowledge, and I hear I am pretty not sucky at sucking dick
So do you remember the bartender that caught me when I fell off the bar 4 weeks ago? He hasn't been to work since...Woops.
And now to play every stoner's favorite game: Where the Fuck Did We Park the Car?! Disneyland Edition!
Did we just second hand smoke crack?
My mom found me this morning passed out, face down on my dinning room floor
That must have been one awkward situation haha
Well I woke up in my bed.... I don't remember her finding me
I don't want too, lol. I'm currently awaiting my next period like its the second coming of christ
Imp drunk. It'd free popcorn tuedday I love life.
Randomize
