I just spent the past twenty minutes checking out a girl who turned out to be a mannequin. I need AA.
she ate the whole pudding cup using only her tongue. i'm considering going lesbian for her
As i lay in bed, clutching my face, i'm starting to believe your dick in my eye story.
My arms are sore from holding up pukeahontas for so long
Stop thinking your God dude. You passed out. God doesn't pass out...
I just got a call from the front desk apparently one of my feiends was dropped off by a handicap bus passed out in a wheel chair unlv is goig down
I hope you have a dream of a sloth with my face touching you erotically
Drunk enough that you donated $50 to taco bell, because they serve a great purpose.
ok thanks goodnight
Also before you go to bed i just have to get it out there that i really like macklemore as a person
Gay bathhouses. They're actually a thing. So god does exist. And he doesn't hate me as much as you think he does
GOOD NEWS I CAN BRING THE VODKA IN MY LUGGAGE
you ran up to the police and said "fuck the police shit we living in hell ". Then you dropped your Margarita and said "Darby Out" lol
I just my had my first cup of coffee in a week. I think I might orgasm.
Can't talk, ducks in the car
I promise your sink was clogged before I threw up in it.
Randomize
