If I've learned one thing today? Blow jobs get you to state championships.
Alright. Who did it? Who's bangin' the ump?
New moon trailer came on. Theater booed. I love these people.
i love how he claims to not know english but when i ask him to come over and fuck me he's all of a sudden fluent
Whats the count minus fat chicks?
Just found a quarter that has been stuck to my boob since at least last night.
She had the hiccups when she was giving me head. It was actually pretty awesome
I'm bringing Sergeant Single Slut out this weekend. I hope you're ready for her.
You peed up the stairs in front of everyone then blamed it on the dog
well if they don't get here soon...no fuck it, I'm going to the strip club.
I'm afraid I might run into that fat chick that sucked on me in the hospital parking lot while her friend cried in the car next to us, but I may be willing to take that chance.
As pissed as she was, you would've thought I was trying to get back into his pants instead of his booze collection.
You give an incredible blow job. I wanted to make sure you know it was appreciated
His wife just cheated on him for the third time. I'm his first extra-marital fling, that makes it ok, right? You know to keep karma balanced in the universe
Your logic is flawless...
He unliked all of my pictures on instagram, I don't know whats worse, the fact that he did it or the fact that I noticed..
I know we're not on great terms here, but I need to know if you're still available for sexual activity...cause if not I need to get going on a work-out plan.
Randomize
