my underwear are soaked with white zifandel yet i have continued to wear them despite the fact im at home
I wrote a list of all my homework due in the next few weeks. I feel I've done enough for tonight.
Just found out I slapped a vegan in the face with meat last night.
I have a question, if it paid really well, like ridiculously well, would you be a restaraunts under the table resident blowjob girl?
i took it, then realized you live 3 ours away. but if you start driving now, im almost positive I'll still be hard
we didnt even have break up sex...
you had it for us with someone else...
we are torturing ourselves with these mediocre cocks
Porch rule of tonight: when you sing, you must use "something" as a microphone. The person to use the most "creative" object gets the door prize...so far Stephie is winning with Jennifer's dog.
Whoever said that remembering a girls name is a basic rule for getting laid has never met me.
Due to certain anatomical proportions it was less like fucking and more like childbirth.
THE MAINTENANCE MEN WERE DOWN STAIRS AND I THOUGHT THEY WERE MY MOM. I'VE BEEN YELLING 'GRILL ME A CHEESE' AT THEM FOR HALF AN HOUR
Omg how many tall cans is too many tall cans for 1 pm
Drunkness level: fluent in olde norse
I'm pretty sure the Jahovah's witness only came to our door because the front says "Twerk Or Treat"
Tim is a child that you physically can't love because he makes it hard for you to even find anything redeeming about him so you debate leaving him forever at the gas station.
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