I'm sorry for the crack den comment. You have a lovely apartment.
For once I'm glad there wasn't morning sex. Yes, that sore from the night before.
shes a baton twirler.. i expected her to be better with her hands.
You slow danced with your carpet steamer last night.
Sorry for making you give strangers a ride for hits of acid.
Dude the animal human society told us we could get a dog when we came back sober. I cant wait.
I am getting drunk. And i'm going to paint my face and slide down the stairs like Pochahontas. Goodbye
Nurse helped me count all my sexual partners and still gave me her phone number. She shall be #73.
She can't meet us until 830...there's no hope for our sobriety at that hour
BEHOLD THE MORNING PIGEON
SANCTIFY THE CHALK TADPOLE
THERE IS NO SOBRIETY. ONLY ZUUL.
Sometimes I'm sad but then I realize that bagels.
There are grandparents doing keg stands I don't know
The problem I'm having with looking for jobs while drunk is reading is really hard
He said something last night about making crepes, but after getting pissed on in bed, I question everything.
Well I've always wanted to get head while playing WoW...
K I'll do it, but mine is going to be WAY weirder. Your not allergic to shellfish, right?
Randomize
