i'd like someone to explain to me why my clothes are all sticky. including my fanny pack. yes, this is a mass text.
Im telling you now. Hang out with winning football players and you get whatever the hell you want. Sorry to wake you. But its important knowledge.
We watched a biography of Frida Kahlo in class today. It was depressing. A chick with a UNIBROW just put my sex life to shame.
I just followed a trail of feathers and glitter to class. Today better be fucking magical.
no normal human would even think about making waldo slutty but you
Just remember that she is a giant dick-sucking forehead and you are better than that.
Did you sleep with Connor? And who undressed me? There's a picture of two guys peeing out my bedroom window. What happened?
I feel like having peed on eachother is a point in our lives we should never have gotten to...
Your friend, the one I told I would brush his teeth with my tongue, what's his name again?
I was wondering, is there any way to hook up a lawn hose to a keg?
YOU BROUGHT HANDCUFFS TO THE WHITE ELEPHANT EXCHANGE AND DIDN'T TELL ME???
You introduced her by saying, "This is the girl who sexes me." Then you passed out on the coffee table.
I don't even have his number. I have his pants tho
I don't know what's wrong with me. The guy from bar rescue is making me horny
the guy had "bad bitches only" tattooed above his penis...
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