well, atleast the road to alcoholism is fun.
Does it count as a shower if I just sat in the tub singing I'm a Little Teapot?
And then I have a slight inkling that I went up to the bar and tried to order the bartender.
dont call me baby and dont touch my ears. ITS ALL I ASK
He seems to have a lot of things figured out and most of the answers involve bourbon
woke up holding a soft boiled egg cup and empty bottle of rum. apparently i couldn't find a shot glass
I just told him that with every paper, I'd take a picture of myself with one less piece of clothing. Who say's I can't be a tutor?
Ahh, 151. Think of it this way: it took one shot to get you buzzed, I took eight. I may or may not have broken a tv with my skull that night and met someone's parents naked and hungover the next morning.
I enjoy the level of friendship we have achieved until you ask me to determine what may or may not be gentile warts via iphone pic
Did I let your boyfriend smear a banana into my face last night? Because I have pictures that are telling me I did....
After a crazy night, morning sex is just trying to find a position where you can thrust without getting seasick.
I JUST SAW MY THERAPIST OUTSIDE OF WORK AND I DONT KNOW THE ADULT THING TO DO
There's a rash on my genitals that would like a word with you.
Stop trying to get me to choose vodka over a nap
Thanks for going with me today. It’s been a long time since I bought bra and panties because of a guy
It’s called “shopping for lingerie” and it’s one of the many exciting and sexy things that follow a divorce, along with sexting, sleepovers, and orgasms
But, our next lesson is picking up a younger guys at the bar!
Randomize
