I just gave my whole company pinkeye. How's that for a summer intern's lasting impression? BOOYAHH
a search helicopter?!
He is in the front yard trying to catch birds out of the air with a fishing net.
they were fucking between cars in the parking lot and everyone was cheering at them.
Woke up with eyeliner streaked down my face, glitter all over my bed, and holding half-eaten Jimmy Johns. Plus, my whole family's downstairs for Thanksgiving... Welcome to the shitshow that is my early 20s
Just made a list of all the guys I've hooked up with. "Roofie tattoo eyelids", "xanex night guy", "rainy concert", "cory blanket" and "naked hottub guy" made it.
Seriously! We need to take her a thank you note or something. She puts up with the drugs and the extremely loud sex. She deserves a thank you card.
I was expecting it to be of the "I am your vagina's reckoning" caliber.
That guy drinking savagely was actually at his buddy's gay bachelor party in the male stripper section. He came over to the chicks side so we drank with him.
He had some sort of penis-related post traumatic stress disorder, but body shots seemed to wake him up
I just passed a kid trying to leave on a lawn mower
The problem with having a roommate is that you are forced to answer the age old question "Are you okay?"
We played a 4 hour game of True American then we fucked on the floor for a couple hours Happy 20th to me
Just ignore the penis. It's won't bother you. I promise.
I can't. I'm going camping this weekend. I do have a life outside of your dick.
I was playing 'If You Had To Fuck One or Die' with the old composite pictures with a guy in the bathroom line. They were all pretty ugly so I go "You can tell this is a lower tier frat"......turns out the guy was a brother
Randomize
