Its not alright that i make out with a manican.
I may or may not have started my period at the bar. Good thing I have dark jeans on.
don't read that magazine bro. I came in it
I wish they had a "No Yankees" filter on status updates.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i just sold a bong and some oregano to fifth graders for sixty dollars. doing something tonight?
Only you could manage to look like a complete slut while wearing a turtle neck.
i really wish james franco would like my vagina
You better of fucked him last night or do it now because he is buying all the roommates McDonald's.
Tonight was the second time that I've pretended like English was my 2nd language to avoid conversation w a creeper.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Yah, I guess one silver lining is I'd never seen a full water cooler get thrown down a flight of stairs, gotta appreciate the little things
"can of pringles" is totally a legitimate measure of time
I told the cop to try walking in heels and he'd understand why I was walking home without then on. He told me he only does that on Wednesdays.
Can we just talk about how the only thing I have on my camera from this weekend is a video of you putting your whole fist in your mouth hahahha
Bianca brought a stripper home he's making me breakfast
So, I almost went hone with a French guy and a drag queen. Together. Then I became sober enough to realize, that's not my style.
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