i've come to the conclusion that there is no classy way to apply chloroseptic spray to your butthole.
I just sat in the Taco Bell drive-thru waiting for a trash can to take my order. Yes, that high.
It's going to be nice going to the airport without drugs taped to my balls like last year.
1. my parents still have sex. 2. being a screamer runs in the family. 3. so much so that i can tell what number of orgasms she's on. 4.so looks like i'm stuck outside a while
This does no justice to the amount of paint I'm covered in or the amount of balls I'm tripping.
Please tell me why your entire hallway smells like microwaved condoms.
The slot machines are wishing me happy birthday. Mission success.
E drugging s springing. Ease dnt Kate. To t e. ess e I meant thou.
I need to find another hobby that doesn't include being hungover.
so serious though like its almost like I'm playing a game that's my life and Im always losing
I think I used my NERF gun during sexual roleplay. Need to re-evaluate my life choices.
Lets get drunk and then you just wraps me into a present because that sounds like fun after the past 3 glasses of wine I drank
I'm trying to find a fanny pack so I can bring pizza on my run
Fuck you i've put so many pretzels in her shirt
All I remember thinking is, why the fuck are there martians on the ceiling? And they were riding fruit. Like strawberries and shit.
Randomize
