I'm think I may have given your ex's number to a convicted sex offender.
don't worry, i have a range rover and a brother hopped up on steroids.. we can solve this little misunderstanding quite easily.
You left a skid on my bar stool!!!!
Oops! Sorry about getting stool on your stool!
Girl in front of me has spent the class alternating between playing farmville and the tiffany's website looking at engagement rings. Every once in a while she holds her hand up to the screen.
She doesn't deserve the breathe the same air that we do.
She just bought a cow and we've moved on to looking at wedding dresses.
These Dirty People Haven’t Told Their SO About Their Kinky Fetish
just as he was about to cum he started shouting "I THINK I CAN! I THINK I CAN!" over and over again.
Slipping me an edible before my ochem final was not your brightest idea. Looks like I'm switching to business.
Look, if he's not the brother with three nipples, I'm just not interested.
Believe it or not, Travis and I simultaneously breaking beer bottles over eachothers heads was not a good idea.
We are winners. And by winners I mean home wrecking sluts
Isn't that what our 20s r for?? Testing the strength of other people's shitty relationships?
This is Why People Stop Sex Halfway Through
I will give you all my nachos to make this happen
Dude you missed it. This guy in the liquor store knocked over a whole display of 5 hour energy with his face.
I have vodka and explosives. For once, we can blow something up that isn't a blow-up doll.
I saw him and didn't have sex with him. Responsibility five!
How do I cancel buying spotify premium for two homeless people?
You can wear anything you want
So... Naked it is then