no but I have been chillin' like em' homeboys in the rainforest yo!
My bra smells like weed because there's weed in my bra
I realized today that I should stop thinking so much with my vagina instead of my brain.
Please tell me this doesn't mean another "surprise road trip" where I spend all my money on gas and the SURPRISE destination is the abortion clinic.
But what if I pay for the gas?
You really need to tell him that he has a girlfriend. I'm not sure he knows
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Clearly I understand physics better when I'm on cocaine
No. He just yelled "youre having one more orgasm!" So he made that happen and then he rolled over and went to sleep.
My lips are red and swollen. Solid proof that giving head is a viable alternative to lipstick and plumper.
Just found out my ex boss was running a whore house in the bar. Time to remove her as a reference?
That kid who fell through your coffee table is here. In a toga.
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Hah no, But it might feel like water boarding to my soul
I drank toilet water last night, I can't answer you because my phone is in rice.
Bullets don't scare me. I wish I was a coyote
Then, right before he came he said "I want to buy you so many things!" What the fuck?!
The assignment was about the Industrial Revolution so I just screamed at them in a British accent all day. No, they didn't know I was hungover.
It was extremely weird and uncomfortable mid blow job she looks up and says " tell me Simon Cowell makes your dick hard"