"Worlds Wildest Videos" should be called "Crazy White People"
I sold my books for weed money!
Finals don't start for a week...
I am highly attracted to the men and that's all i can say. I do not clap and make noises but i do turn to the side and say how i'd do incredible things to them if given the chance
i have now been nicknamed the screamer on the first, third, fourth, & six floor by all the ra's. only two more floors to go before i cover the entire dorm.
I caught him trying to shit in her bed. I asked him why he was doing it and he said "because it's wrong."
He pulled out, and the resulting cumstain on my sheets is in the shape of a fetus. The irony of this is both awesome and terrifying.
I just found a piece of glass in my ear from Saturday.
You'd be surprised how many calories hedonism burns.
Please come and rip my uterus out before it does it itself
I'm just mad because I can't play gta5 all day tomorrow cuz I'll be in court testifying against a craigslist prostitute...
hooking up with him was much more fun when i knew in the back of mind we'd get in some sort of trouble for it
So last night I turned down multiple drinks because "I didn't want to hold them". It's time reevaluate my decisions
Dude, you got arrested and then texted 911 to tell them you'd been kidnapped with a screenshot of your current location.
He wrote me a Haiku titled, "Let me touch your butt".
My mom always wanted to raise a classy lady, it just turned out to not be her daughter.