I wish my cat could text because i would tell him that everything will be ok. and i wish he could send them back..but him have no thumbs. him no know what he would text with.
What about the words "You're my personal dildo" made him say "I love you"?
going to class early so i have time to go on the moonbounce. this is why i go to art school.
Theres two guys using a blow up doll to hold their beers while they float around the pool
Im on my way, tell them to get ready for a high-five
Just learned how to deliver a baby.the things i saw tonight can never be unseen
just got double teamed by two guys I will be on beach patrol with this summer. six months until the season starts and I'm already 'that girl.'
I wish we could skip the pretense of being normal and just start drinking wine with breakfast
If the boyfriend of the drunk girl you just met asks her if she made a "special friend" you're going to have a threesome. For future reference.
You will not judge me for my made-up holiday of wine appreciation day
If court goes my way we are flying to Vegas.
Why did this happen to me why did I have to meet him if I could go back in time I never would have grabbed his dick
WHO THE FUCK PEED IN MY BONG
We were going to play manhunt in a strip club, calling it mancunt.
..and by hang out i don't mean fucking then going back home i mean let's get something to eat & watch a movie and fuck sometime in between.
I love you.
Bad choice
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