The only way im leaving this casino is in a golden chariot or an ambulance
His facebook status is an owl city song. I'm so glad i didn't end up fucking him.
She's mad at me cuz I told her having a fuck buddy was too much commitment.
we were all standing in the kitchen taking shots and we look over at you and your face is in the plate of spaghetti you were eating.
we ran out of cups so i finished the night drinking out of a paint can.
How unacceptable would it be to bar hop with a funnel in the square? It's Halloweekend and I plan on going hard. I can claim it goes w/ my costume. But I don't think the MIMITW uses funnels.
I'm pretty sure this city writes new vice laws specifically because of us.
I'm ordering a French maid costume for my dog too. It's like a couples costume, except for losers with dogs.
Also, upon examining the photos, I have concluded that you were the sloppiest drunk girl of the night. And that's saying something considering Hurricane Jessica was in town.
Much like Dre, I was forgotten about.
I haven't been that free with the boobs since I was 19. I'm putting them away for a while.
If you insist
The one guy literally flopped my boob out. Yes I insist.
Omg this place. I'm at a neighborhood party. My mom has kissed two other moms. Where am I
I'd say "I think I gave my TA chlamydia" is an accurate way to sum up my life.
I feel like the dump I just dropped is the most successful thing I've done so far today.
I have rug burns on my nipples. Thanks for being an awesome wing girl.
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