dude i'm inner monologue high
I'm getting very good at recycling my hook ups. So even though i'm having more sex... I'm the same amount of slutty.
Yes! I like to call that picking from the buffet!
Now I know how you felt every time you had to listen to me have sex with a girl... mildly disguested yet marginally proud.
happy birthday! Any relationship between us is now officially illegal.
I definitely didn't wake up this morning thinking "i wanna get gang banged today"
from the looks of the bare footprints in the snow it looks like i was dancing in circles which explains the frozen puke
I smell like Captain Morgan and tears
I will call him whatever I please, including flaccid dick on forehead guy but not limited to watermelon cunt head.
Really? Uh ohh sounds like a double date with extra stripper funnnn
Everyone loves nachos, first of all. Second, Ke$ha is entirely appropriate for the age grou too young to realize she probably has Hep C.
I really thought I'd be the only alcoholic drinking alone in my car at noon in the Lowe's parking lot. Passed out dude in the car next to me begs to differ.
Hopefully this dress says "let me rent your house" and not "let me suck your dick for money"
So apparently last night while I was drunk I read him erotic fanfiction while he was eating me out. He stopped every now and then to give me feedback.
dude. i woke up on a random lawn wearing only my boxers, with all my clothes hung in the branches of a nearby tree... no more shrooms
We're so high we're eating flavored lube.
Randomize
