Every time you buy a sobe you buy a bong.
I'm on my fifth double. This night is getting better whether it likes it or not.
Why is the word 'best' written on my chest?!!
He tied my whole arm, in its cast, to the headboard first. He mumbled something about safe, sane, and consensual?
Freshman Move In Day, its like Christmas in August.
Dude, how the hell did you become an RA?
You stuck a chicken finger in that stripper's clevage and said "Keep this warm for me.
I had a moment while I was smoking where I was looking at these palm trees and I knew how dr Seuss came up with his characters.
YOUR BALLS CAME OUT. DONT CALL ME A SHITSHOW.
I'm thinking my boss switched to all cordless keyboards and mouses so that none of us would hang ourselves in the office.
You know it was a good night when visa fraud prevention services are calling
Woke up in a cemetery. Puked in front a funeral ceremony that was going on.
Hey beautiful no judgement but why is there a bucket of KFC chicken in the bathtub??
I've never been to an orgy, but I would assume nachos wouldn't be out of the question at one.
Pregaming at Jodi's. Ten minutes
Thought it was at Brad's?
Pregaming the pregame. Need alcohol before I can see that dick.
I put on a face mask and masturbated for an hour... my face now has a green tint
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