We were so bored at work tonight that we were in dry storage taking turns pouring the boxed wine we use for cooking into each others' mouths. I think I'm starting to understand the "problem" aspect of "drinking problem."
After we had sex, she played this little piggy with my toes
He shit in the bushes next to the pool at the Venetian, after throwing up in the hallway. You really can do anything in Vegas.
Well yes but because of that incident i now salute to truck drivers
i'll get you drunk even if i have to inject alcohol into your arm through an IV
you're the only one i would trust to do that
There's never a time that i stay at this apartment that when i wake up in the morning and sit outside to smoke a cigarette that i don't feel ashamed of myself.
Why can't it ever be the normal ones that stalk me?
He's just giving off this "someone be a bitch to me" vibe
Holy shit he's circumcised. His parents must have really loved him.
I'm a hopeless romantic that likes rough sex. Judge me
I just found out my younger brother has me saved in his contacts as "Womb Primer" and I don't know what to do with this information
I woke up in a bush somewhere in Tucson with a full suit on. Great way to end my birthday.
HOLY SHIT HOLY SHIT HOLY SHIT HOLY SHIT
So I just ran in to the Couger you saw me take home last month who i haven't talked to since then at Wawa and she was PISSED.. APPARENTLY i fucked her niece last week
My ultimate hope is that people will hug me, smell me, and therefore think I'm classy.
Birthday wine tasting got super shambly super quickly. I am covered in cuts/bruises/terrible life decisions.
Randomize
