She said she had a thing for dinosaurs. Come get me now
You coming out tonight? We gotta hang out before I move to Madison. BTW I'm moving to Madison.
this whole plan B standoff thing with her is really starting to make me nervous
ok. can u leave the new roommate a list of instructions for me? like what i need to be fed and when i need to be exercised?
Corn dogs constantly. And all.the time
We were all definitely blackout with drunk goggles on, even though you and Amanda were the only ones dressed up as it.
I cant shower it involves moving...
Just lay there and turn the water on. At least rinse off the shame.
Also, am I the only one who noticed he didn't fuck you until after you were technically a cripple? Or am I reading into this too much? Congrats on that btw
I think my vagina has grown over, not unlike earring holes when not used in a long amount of time.
Another memory: We offered for a stranger to live in our house under the condition that he took the garbage out because it's a 'blue' job.
We are the best.
Ps. We need to take the garbage out.
I'm trying to behave my vagina this week so I can at least pretend I'm honoring the sanctity of marriage
i have too much dick at my disposal? i should make them fight. best dick pic gets laid
So I slept with some guy last night and when I woke up in the am couldnt remember his name. I text him n asked "How do you spell your name?" to try n find out and all he replied was "With an A." WTF!?
Dude how about today while I was on lunch someone died in the break room at work....I didn't even know we had a break room!!
Yea she is hot. But she also had no toothpaste in her entire apartment.
Dude I may be rolling but there's no way I can make up a 12 ft tall giant green man waving to me right now
False alarm, security just told me it's a radio tower
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