Don't be mad at me. I know peeing in your drawer is 1 thing and peeing on you while you're sleeping is another, but im sorry..i love you
what part of "i slept with our hot teacher" are you not excited about?!
the part where you beat me to him
fair enough.
eating kraft dinner with my face. no forks.
i woke up with my wallet keys and phone missing and a treasure map to find them stapled to my shirt.
haha i know
When the cops knocked on the door, he just knocked back and announced "house keeping"
oh my god i'm in a crawl space
dude there's no way we're going back in there for your puke shoes
Ugh I miss culture and lesbians already
He took getting"shit in your neighbors hot tub drunk" way to literally
I bought Plan B for the first time and an interview outfit today. You could say my life is improving.
He fell asleep on top of me after sex. For 3 hours. Poor guy worked too hard.
I did stay at work til 5 but for the last hour I was just taking naked pics on my desk for some tinder guy
My professor just paused class to answer a phone call from her dog. Im taking shots before this class from now on.
that lady just saw me taking a picture of her baby... It's time to leave.
Moms passed out wet and naked in a rocking chair again....
Randomize
