I'm eating all of the evidence.
I just farted so loud that my cat got so scared he fell off the couch.
She is my favorite of all the girls you have fucked. Other than me.
I wish all the girls i wanted to sleep with knew how big my dick was then id have a better chance
She's like a pop up book from hell.
MCAT status: Day 64, no longer can remember what sex is like.
Put cigar in mouth backwards. Plz remind to check for scar in morning, can't feel it now. Screwdrivers are like morphine.
we went 3 years between hookups and she got a lot better. Amanda's moving way up the booty call pecking order.
I'll be so proud. Like a proud mama bear freeing my slut cub into the wild.
Not sure if it's my shorts, hat, shoes, hair or soul but one of the above just got me drunk again from the glorious aroma of Keystone Light.
Is there a non-awkward way to tell a girl I work with that she looks just like my favourite pornstar?
The trashcan full of everclear punch caught on fire...you should probably come home now.
I just got hit on at the bar by a guy who used his mother as a wingman, she was pretty convincing. Only in Stratford.
Talked a police officer into driving us the 1/2 mile home from the bars because we didn't want to walk. I never knew the back of cop Cars had plastic seats.
You let the ASEXUAL teach sex Ed?!
Randomize
