So just talked to them hahah i like that people sat there and watched as you two made out... They said they even had to refill their beers
i'd date him for the sole reason that he thanks me after giving him head
You were running around with scissors offering people free haircuts.
Where else am I to apply my creativity?
I don't know. Anywhere productive and not involving sex toys would be a start.
yes you're required to wear a bikini its the snowpocalypse beach party
in the past 3 nights i've fucked a millionaire, a drug dealer and a civil engineer... i dont really have a "type" anymore
He was going down on me and raised up for a minute, slipped and punched me in the face. My lady boner left immediately.
He got punched in the face, dropped his laptop down a flight of stairs, and broke his roommate's lava lamp, getting all the toxic lava goo everywhere. This is why we don't let him get drunk. And yet here we are.
Hot Italian guy literally came into my logic class just to get my number to study with me and left. America.
I think you just have to raise your bang age from 40 to 50, hope dust doesn't fly out and make her say tony danza
For what it's worth, I didn't think that hitting you with a crowbar as hard as I did would break your arm like that. You should drink more milk.
i thought this was a perfectly normal conversation between two adult men about why this children's cartoon is quality television but no you just gotta be talking shit again
Did you mean to say flashlight? Or did your grandpa really give you a fleshlight for your bday?
She was going down on me before I had a chance to tell her I arrested her brother 3 hours earlier
I’m appalled by how severely I lower my standards when I’m horny & impaired
Randomize
