How'd it feel making her break her religion?
I am choosing my outfit based on how fast I can get it off. Please help.
there was a guy here who managed to get his head stuck in a fishbowl. no, I don't fuckin know how
I passed out and woke up with my pockets full of Lucky Charms cereal and chocolate coins. Another successful St Pattys Day.
I'm such a fucking super-fan. I was worried his cum would wash away his autograph.
Last night in my drunkenness I bought hurricane supplies which included a jug of wine and a bouquet of flowers. Apparently I'm going to woo Irene.
I'm not as easy in Europe as I am in the US
Only because you can wipe your slut slate clean & start anew. It's a little known benefit of our currency exchange.
Whoever decided to wrap my shins in duck tape owes me new leg hair.
so i guess now we know you can get away with peeing mere feet from the Capitol if you shout IM PREGNANT at the guards
I will sleep with anyone I have to to make sure you don't get deported
Fucking that physical therapist guy was the best decision I ever made.
Bjs and tacos. That's my life.
Never in a million years thought I would have to put jello shot recipe/equation into an excel spreadsheet
If he refers to me as slump buster one more fucking time.
I just puked in a chili’s bathroom... happy birthday to me
Randomize
