sometimes I tug on my anal hairs for pleasure
you've officially gone too far. we are no longer friends
I like one night stands...theyre like crushes for big kids
In case you come back to the room and i'm not here, yes there's a cup filled with gravy in the microwave. Just take it out if you need to heat something.
I love being Chipotle's first beer sale of the morning.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Sorority life is like alcoholic girl scouts, plus douchebags in polos.
Called my dealer in tears and we talked for an hour until I felt better. That's the way it should be.
whose parrot is this?
Well my summer has already been productive. I partially caused a divorce.
What did we do lastnight that resulted in a $1,896 charge on my credit card with a $2,000 limit
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Omg no hes gotta go down on me. Then itll be like my vagina has kissed the stanley cup.
he asked if he should bring the trash can into the room.. apparently i shoved my finger all over his face and said.. shhhh dont talk... just take your pants off.
Yah. I'm gonna lay you down and feed you grapes, except I'm gonna replace grapes for my balls
You mentioned his name and i threw up a little.
I know it's New Year's Eve but if you're going to have a bunch of chicks playing strip go fish in our apartment I need a heads up.
Nothing kills the mood like opening another guy’s dick pic in bed
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