Note to Self: No matter how horny, turned on or in the moment you are, never go down on your gf after she had soccer practice.
when I woke up the last searched thing on my phone was "how to make a fireproof dress" I need to stop drinking.
The sex was so good, I called my ex during the 2nd time just so he could hear. Is that mean?
if you do not get any action from him tonight, I am personally walking my drunk ass over there grabbing his tongue and sticking it in your mouth. this is getting ridiculous
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
boy from dating site added me on facebook. i don't know if i'm ready for him to see what a drunk i am.
I rode on his Vespa around Florence and fucked him in an empty train. It was like a way sluttier version of Lizzy McGuire
I caught him trying to shit in her bed. I asked him why he was doing it and he said "because it's wrong."
If I get laid, we are framing that mattress and hanging it on the wall as the place we both lost our virginities.
if i got ashes i think they'd burn a hole into my head with the amount of sins i've committed this year alone and it's only february
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Fake an illness. Her and her friends are like the female version of guys who wear tapout shirts
No worries. On my way home to get ski poles and wipe the sick off my face. Then it's time to get drunk in the park
I'm auditing financial statements and ur growing weed this is bullshit how did this happen to me
Someone want to explain the bottle of ranch I found in my pants
I blacked out in the cab last night... Cant remember getting in the front door, also i got into bed with my grandma.
Dude I had my dad cock block me once
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