Rocking a Headband at the strip club, because of Rock of Love this shit is like their kryptonite, I smell like stripper butter and back child support.
i keep telling myself in the mirror "get undrunk"
well i was about to unbutton his pants but then i realized they had an elastic waste-band, so no, that didnt happen
I got a lot accomplished today, and the day is still young! I built a fort, hot boxed a fort, had a tea party in a fort, and now realizing how high I am.
When you gave me the first bj i thought 'yep, this girl is going to do great things with her life'
Well... He is a good looking man underneath all the fat and muff.
Fuckers are stealing our internet and making my porn stream slowly so I changed the password for VanceRefrigeration to RyansaCunt. No spaces but capitalization.
He said he wanted to make me his Twinkie, "filled with his delicious cream." ABSOLUTELY 100% NO YOU MAY NOT REPEAT ****NOT**** GIVE HIM MY NUMBER EVER EVER EVER. Please confirm receipt and full comprehension of this message.
When this bachelor party is over and your life is in ruins, you have my permission to die.
Huh interesting. Well thats too bad. Did he catch on?
I doubt it. After sex he sat there naked until the episode of fresh prince (which had JUST started) was over.
He is full of southern hospitality and I want to be full of him.
We need to talk about your improper dealings with the town drug dealer.
i just called dibs on the taxi driver at the bar that isnt drinking. im a grown up
U sent me lyrics to wind beneath my wings
My liver misses your liver
Yoooooo, the fat magician married the chick I dumped a beer on after I got pissed he was flirting with her in front of me
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