I'm going to kill the bastard that switches my hot hookups from the previous night with ugly chicks
she would be the type to have more hair on her twat than on her head
she has to be all "alternative"
She said "Lay the fuck down and ill show you how its done. Ill get us both off." I did. And she did. Best words ever said before sex.
Class is significantly more awkward when you know that your teacher knows what you look like with your legs behind your head... Just saying.
The working title of my paper? "Tailgating: A Big Clusterfuck of Kids Who Dont Actually Give a Shit about Football"
Does he not understand that naked slip and slide needs supervision after dark?!
But fine, we can play that game. You can come over and we can have totally platonic, long, boring discussions. Or we can fuck. Whatever.
Still borderline I believe. As bad as this sounds, I feel God owes me one here and should not let his grandmother die till after my birthday
I just remembered something. Did we really all flash the cab driver to get half off?
i had a super strange, mommy/daddy issuestastic, mildly freudian, i-might-as-well-become-a-stripper-now-and-stop-fighting-the-inevitable dream last night :(
Yeah. Moral of the story: Don't mace yourself. It sucks dick.
So I'm already mostly naked in a kind of bed but obviously too lazy to take my boots off. It's like January 1st is already here
Sitting in a waiting room with 15 children has me contemplating if I ever want to have sex again...
There's literally not a single picture of him with a shirt on. I can't talk to him without dislocating my eye balls.
I just tried to dye my pubic hair teal for her
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