you told everyone your name was brenda and you had the whole party chanting b-dawgg by the end of the night. successful.
You poured sparks in your panties and NOW you're wondering why you have a UTI?
Give me one situation where peeing in your garage could be a bad idea
In other news I saw a pack of make believe zombies walking down green st.
gotta love wednesdays
trust me, there is no more disappointing feeling in the world than waking up at 4 in the morning with a random half naked chick in your bed and then realizing your roommates girlfriend just wandered into the wrong room.
My parole officer gave me condoms and a Starbucks gift card ... happy holidays.
One fish gets drugged and suddenly I'm labeled a bad pet owner. This is so unfair.
Have you fucked anyone in the hospital yet because obviously this illness isnt worth it unless you do. I MISS YOUR HEALTH
Topless dodge ball cldnt top that
Just considered playing a drinking game with powerade with my sister so she would get some fluids in her. I do so well with sick people.
The guy next to me just said he wont play beer pong on principle. Im scared.
URGENT INPUT I'm at a renesance fair after party and I'm 100% lined up to fuck their sword swallower OR their contortionist. Dont say both - which direction doth I roll?
thanks again for a nice night (and please don't fuck my boss)
Getting food poisoning after eating at work was the cherry on top of my "Welcome back to real life" sundae.
I can't take 'get a man' advice from you. You'll stick your penis in a warm banana peel.
Randomize
