jackpot. dress really slutty so he knows you mean business
you ever wonder how lesbians feel about girls being in relationships with other girls on facebook? could it annoy them more than it annoys me?
Having him eat chocolate out of you is not as romantic as it sounds. I'm still finding pieces.
he opened the microwave and beer cans poured out
love being home for thanksgiving just had grandma pick me up from the frat by her house
She told me to stuff her like a turkey. She actually yelled happy thanksgiving.
Single person behavior: I wanted a cookie but was too lazy to make or go buy any, so I let cookie dough ice cream melt and ate all the chunks. Pantsless.
It's times like this I miss having my nipples pinched
Everyone at work loved my story about sobering up in a river with no bra on.
100 proof captain the only man who can make me strip during a snowstorm
We have bigger issues at hand... Does anybody know someone in the kalamazoo area that is missing a pair of stilts ?
I found a playlist on my ipod with only one song on it: gold digger. confused, but not surprised.
The sad part is I didn't even want to get laid. I just wanted the emotional connection, but my vagina was screaming "TOUCH ME. TOUCH ME RIGHT NOW BECAUSE MY DADDY ISSUES ARE MUCH DEEPER THAN MY EMOTIONAL NEEDS!" Vodka has a way of getting me out of my emotions and gets me fucked every time.
Turns out that Irishman put my panties under his pillow afterward. Thanks?
Pretty sure keeping my vibrator in the same drawer with the weed makes it work better. I fall asleep almost immedi
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