apparently you CAN get banned from Nascar.
remind me next year to leave the 19 year old girl at home when you're going to pride. total cock block
all you did was keep googling "what time is it" over and over and over
way to not show up for Habitat for Humanity, real classy...
I saved lives by not driving this morning
You refused to get in the cab so we rock paper scissored to decide who walked you home and the fat guy was it. So don't blame your poor hook-up choice on me; it was all you.
fun fact #6 about tuesday nights: giving head with two 40s taped to your hands is not as easy as you would think
A guy wearing a shirt that says "eat shit and die motherfucker" just held open a door for me. He's got manners.
I think the solution to your phobia is an open relationship with your dildo. about the same responsibility as a pet rock
I learned something last night. Strippers can be on house arrest?
What's great about college is that i can eat chocolate cereal for every meal and call it a money saving technique.
I just want to be like i dont know you but ive seen your penis & i like it
If I woke up in a pillar of smoke I suppose that's a sign right
EX BOYFRIEND'S TWINS WERE BORN TODAY. THIS CALLS FOR A MARG.
Are you ok?!
I assume I've stopped bleeding because I haven't passed out, but can't verify currently.
I'm wearing men's underwear
I don't know what to do with that information...
Randomize