Quiet hours sex sucks. I hate finals.
I need to stop having one night stands with guys in my building so I can have someone to borrow milk from without it being awkward
We fucked on top of all of our English papers in celebration of the semester ending.
I an in a belgian bar and i cant understand shit. Trying to talk to strangers. Getting drunk until we all speak the same language. Brace for updates.
looking at my texts from you makes me want to throw up in my pants
you really cant fit homeless dj into your budget? doubles as charity
We're in the kiddy pool eating marshmellows and drinking wine out of a box. Please dress casual.
You were definitely drunk. You gave him an otphj in front of everyone.
we're like the harlem globetrotters of underage drinking
I need to just embrace dildos and cats and call it a life.
i guess i fuck people who own bucket hats so i can't talk shit
I crawled to the bathroom this morning there were cornpops scattered on the floor? What was I doing last night?
I’m literally watching say yes to the dress, eating fancy cheeses with crackers, and I have orange dark chocolates. All of which is being washed down with merlot. And I’m 100% sure a porno is gonna go down next door tonight. They don’t have a car and arrived via taxi. Happy holidays from motel 6 Pendleton Oregon!
So I have now fucked both my roommates...This is why I can’t live with men.
just used my $120 dollar stats book for the first time to kill an ant... good thing i stole it
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