I puked the same amount of times as the number of bars i went to last night
i was like. eff you dude i'm 100% american. i went to a high school prom and i like springstein songs and i take rides in chevrolets.
debating whether or not to save the package from my first plan b pill. it would be a nice addition to any baby book.
Dude, she literally stopped, mid fuck said "I want soup" got off my dick and make top ramen.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
My dad just called from upstairs on the house phone to tell me to bring him a beer. You tell me how I am.
They just asked a fat guy to move to the other side of the plane. Send me a pic of your tits incase we crash
Remind me tomorrow that I was taking shots of burnetts in the subway line while placing my order
This is most sickening thing I've ever seen, and I threw up my body weight in jello shots on my birthday.
YOU ARE NOT A BOTTLE OF RUM THEREFORE I DONT KNOW HOW TO LOVE YOU
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
MY FUCKING CAT JUST GAVE BIRTH AND IM FUCKING STONED AND I FUCKING DON'T KNOW WHAT TO DO!!!
He spelled Steven with "ph", needless to say my nose was almost bleeding from the amount of axe he was wearing.
I've literally NEVER been on a date or gotten through one episode of netflix without having sex like I JUST WANT TO WATCH TRUE DETECTIVE
When I watch porn and jerk off like 95% of the time Iron Chef is on in the background...
never planned on seeing last weekend's one night stand again, much less be on the same plane as him..
I tried making my own red bull with crushed up caffeine pills, bubbley water and flintstones chewable vitamins. The ER doctor sead I'm lucky to be alive.
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