i've decided that sluttiness is like a disease, it can lay dormant in you for years and then one day you go to college and with all the booze and drugs and boys and time on your hands symptoms begin to show then one day BAM you're a huge slut. it's like how izzie had skin cancer and it grew into brain cancer.
Some girl in the stall next to me just yelled "fuck yes i started my period!" she came out of the stall and we high fived. who am i to judge? i do that every month.
I woke up with someone else's vomit on my ass. That's how I'm doing today.
Two people in the coffee shop I'm at are on a date and talking about how acid has affected them and the girl just mentioned meth. Fuck studying, this just got interesting.
In Berlin they just cured HIV with stem cells. I am hereby fucking anything that moves.
Theres a picture of me with cut up clothes rolling in the policeman's lawn, I missed you, summer.
Our new roommate is sitting in the living room wearing a snuggie and clutching a handle of burnett's mixed with what appears to be crystal light and sobbing over a documentary about a dead race horse.
I know. Isn't she utterly fantastic?
it wasn't sex so much as.....a disastrously uncomfortable sexual experience
I just realized I'm the burger in your burger and steak anology. Very disconcerting.
He said "I can't wait for you to feel me inside of you so I can tell you gently that you're mine" and left me a 4 minute voice mail of him crying after I told him I didn't want to be with him. 30 year olds are off limits.
I have major gossip for you.
Oh no, did you have sex last night?
If I had sex last night I'd probably post it on facebook. It's been that long and I'd be that excited.
Gonna be hard to top last New Year's Eve when the guy I blew came at midnight
Apparently I thanked the paramedics over and over again for saving the "happy new year" beads that I was wearing
if anyone asks you the platypus in my bathtub is a gift...thats all anyone needs to know
I can barely operate my hands; what makes you think I can operate my dick
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