Today should be called shooting fish in a barrel day. Every place ive gone to ive met a girl who regrets not hooking up last night. There have not been girls this easy since Fathers Day
"Does your mom know how big your cock is?" Worst dirty talk I've ever had.
So the weirdest part of it all was he whispered in my ear "can i eat you out on your tredmill?" I dont find him attractive at all anymore
Bath mats should not be used at mops. they don't work. consider this a drunk psa
we bribed her with croutons and jello shots.
You were rubbing sand all over yourself and everyone else and claiming you were "EXFOLIATING."
diet's not working. come over. i need someone to fuck the hungry out of me.
i dont know whats weirder. that i told him he stabbed me in my dream or that he told me i wasnt the first girl to tell him theyve been killed by him in a dream
That's not as bad as watching a dumb ass drunk peeing into your window fan -
I need five more minutes of sobbing.. AND THEN I will get back to studying
Justin just used the term "industrial strength colon blow".
You know how I know last night was a good night? Because I remember high fiving a couple WHILE they were having sex.
Did my dad just see you doing a walk of shame?
Yup I waved.
Our faces when the strip club was closed looked like the grinch just stole Christmas ☹️
You should not be involved with someone who smells like that. Because that smell seriously does not go away. Even if you can't actually smell it at any given point, it will still haunt you
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