It was amazing what she could do with her one good arm.
shes got a really nice body. but her face is eh.
you dont need a face to have sex
This is the LAST time i'm accepting the excuse "tequila made me do it". Even tequila thinks buying all of nickelback's itunes singles is fucking retarded
its freezing days like this when i seriously consider littering to speed up the global warming processes.
i robbed the continental breakfast last night
Sadness tears and throw up everywhere
Thank you <3 he just looked at me, fist bumped me, and asked me what was on my titty....we may cut her off
also, sleeping with your chipotle guy sounds like a good idea until you want chipotle on your day off and have to look somewhat presentable to acquire said chipotle.
I told her it would be awesome. We are all the same people. One of us would always be drunk, one of us would always be hooking up, and one of us would always be crying into a pancake.
Because I'm sitting in a bath of my own wisdom and drowning my sorrows in coconut rum
"He didn't answer my snap so I know he's arrested"
I should probably eat a Plan B. Pill for breakfast. Happy Halloween.
We have an albino peacock in our apartment. It's beautiful.
Scratch it being beautiful, bitch just stole my McDonalds. Call animal control.
Guess how much it costs to flush your pants down the toilet?
Was cussing out our DD when one of the strippers takes him backstage. WTF
They call him magic hands is all I know.
Somethings are best left a mystery
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