The bars here don't close until 4!
my legs don't close until 4
Laughlin, where retired strippers come to die.
do you think the kids from 7th heaven are mad that dennis and sweet dee are their half-brother and sister?
due to concerns over safety, the theme of the 'naked fondue party' has now been changed to the 'naked fondue party with optional apron' please b.y.o.apron. extra prizes for most creative apron.
If you stick your dick in my spaghetti, we're fighting.
i think he drugged the pie. i'll get back to you on that later.
I'm in a hotel full of Marines. I'm leaving here pregnant.
You should make it a point to use vocabulary that is competition appropriate around him, like "champion" and "training" and "victory sex"
The little girl I babysit saw pink plastic shot glasses in my car and asked what they were for and I told her they were princess teacups.
Sexting Captain while emailing my eharmony match about my low key weekend is hard.
Sometimes i think i need to stop drinking because i can't afford losing so many panties anymore
If your gig isn't over in 30 minutes I am coming on that stage to come on your dick.
Dreamt I had my own personal vibrator rep, who made house calls. I earned an upgrade to an electric model, since I was burning through batteries. That's it. Time for a bf.
You've got the chocolate, drugs and my pants. You hold all the cards...
You got drunk, made toast, and declared yourself a domestic goddess.
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