Fuck you I wanted that fabulous flaming homo to win american idol...its like we lost the gay marriage vote...again
2 nights ago she wants to see other people, tonight she wants to have a threesome. The GOOD kind of threesome. So... win?
it was worse than that time i tried giving evan head 4 days post nose job.
Both he AND his 17 year old son were hitting on me... I'm bridging generational gaps
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
he's werid. hell kiss me after i go down on him but he wont kiss me after i eat anything with mustard.
Don't talk to me about scholarly dedication until you've taken a final in boxers, a bloody tank top and a zip tie to hold your hair back. I wear the most sullied 4.0 crown of all time....
Talking to friends parents while buying all the things needed for Jell-O shots. classic
I'm in my bed. Snow angles in fresh sheets. don't even try to get me out tonight.
body shots are frowned upon at family weddings. i'll keep that in mind next time. maybe.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
that pic of me and the hulking football player sure does come in handy when creepy guys hit on me at the bar.
you just cant say you love him and then say you want to fuck your boss
Henceforth: booty calls will now be referred to as "deliveries of anatomy". That is all.
You licked my eyeball, you are officially cut off. If you just missed you can have a second chance on Friday.
I said "one day" and that day is not today
I'm ne vrr drinkjng againnnnnnnn dforeal.
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