Let's get naked and see who's stronger.
Maybe my heart is located in my vagina
All he wants to do is masturbate while I sit there with my big toe up his ass that is not even the worst part of it.
Remember when you picked me up from my walk of shame with a bike, I came out wearing a Ninja Turtle costume and you let me ride the pegs to thoroughly display the embarassment
Honey, I don't care how "classic you" this is. It's not gonna matter if we can't find you in the morning.
Full contact beer pong was definitely not my best idea.
Do pleather leggings scream im easy on a first date?
i am one UTI away from banning your fingers from my vagina
My mom just told me she would flash her tits to a cop to get me out of jail, and then we high-fived.
White girls? They're everywhere. In packs. Drunk white girl packs.
like stop just cause your whole life has been one enormous reject pile does not mean that i have to suffer too
If I just skip sleeping, does hangover still happen? Gonna try it. Will report back. StTAND BY
I've been here 11 months and i just realized i have literally never looked at my apartment/roomates sober
I just woke up in the closet wearing nothing but a Santa hat.
I basically go to him for great dick and great memes.
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