Where are you?
In a non slutty way
the fundamentals of my vasectemy are strong
I am really glad that on the inside of a card from your grandparents you have transcribed the rules for circle of death
when im bored during the day i often think, what do people who dont get high do with their day.. i came to the conlcusion that everyone must be getting high
You litterally reached into some girls shirt, pulled out her tit and yelled whats up with this guy.
i dont know, i woke up and he was going down on me. i guess i can save his number
I had fun this weekend too. According to Web MD, my symptoms say I had a miscarriage.
My girlfriend is studying for the MCAT by watching The Magic Schoolbus. There go my dreams of being a househusband.
Can I please come dance in my bra to destiny's child with you? I'll bring the wine and the glitter
Mike showed up naked and in handcuffs. Again. Feel free to come over and laugh because I'm not helping this time.
All I can think of is a mama duck followed by her baby ducks, in brightly colored track shoes.
How high are you?
If you magically turned into a tall white gay guy, ignore this message. If not, then I'm sure someone has your fb password.
I'm perplexed as to why anyone on this planet is straight
I'm going to need to invest in some knee pads if I keep having nights like tonight
It’s a prereq for med school, so I hope the professor likes blow jobs
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