Whoa!!! Accidentally took a dump in chick's bathroom at Red Robin. 1 hr for coast to be clear. Women's farts sound like geese taking last breath. Liars.
The money shot is kinda like the "The End" part of a children's book isn't it?
I literally just watched a girl motorboat herself
i've lived in the woods for so long, as long as its post-op, i don't care.
And as far as being fat goes I just did like 20 minutes of p90x and now i'm eating frosting out of the container....
even the AIR tastes like tequila.
He was pretty wasted I guess, but the crippled guy threw the first punch it was awesome
3 a.m. laundry plus 100 proof peppermint schnapps does not turn out well. Not only is there a puddle of detergent outside the laundry room that I spilled, but my clothes were found in the dryer wit a box of Franzia and a 40. Good thing I was too drunk to turn it on.
You were walking away to pee and as you were undoing your belt you looked at me and said "the belt is off. the game is on. Remever that."
So immediately after we finished having sex she started singing, "The Circle of Life", put her clothes on and then just left. I think I'm in love.
I call him Seabiscuit because he's my trusty steed
she keeps a switchblade in her panty drawer... i am both terrified and slightly turned on
Okay. So I've done lines off a bible. But that's just for the sake of being cliché.
ditto.
about cumming, not toast
I could be doing way worse things besides texting him 'come over and bang my headache away'. i could be on meth
Randomize
