1:32a: I quit. signing up for eharmony. Don't judge
moral of the story: I'm going to stab everyone
i think i just witnessed the elusive male walk of shame
i woke up next to the toilet with a chipped tooth, somebody elses shirt on, and a random guys id in my pocket
well the hot one passed out so thats that, but then the fat one made chicken nuggets....totally worth it
It went alright, nothing too special, just got threatened with a knife by our server.
i thought i should point out that whatever else you can say about me, i've still gotten high with a midget.
At some point you realize they're vacuuming and you still have to sober up. Please find me a boyfriend thanks .
This is America. Thomas Jefferson would have said I want some vagina.
This medicine is making me nuts. I just woke up and I thought I was in a glass case with Asians staring at me.
No, you made a silk sheet toga and held up a dildo calling yourself "The Statue of Puberty". People made pilgrimages from the other party down the block to see you.
I have a sixth sense for large penises and lack of morals
ELLEHCIM
NYRMAK
DRAHCIR
WHAT??
I would literally only have sex with a dinosaur right now.
I’m going down on him like an Oompah Loompah on roller skates.
That makes no sense, but good luck
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