Check that he is NOT ok. He just heated up SoCo and used it as syrup on his pancakes.
You layed on my kitchen floor with a pile of m&ms at your crotch, said "your lightbulb don't match, is that one new?"
what is the most politically correct way to ask if he still hangs out with the guy that has blue hair and make meth in his car?
They can be so fun, drunk bruises are like clues to the treasure of what actually happened last night. "why do I have a bruise on my belly button? oh right. i was trying to turn my stomach off so I would stop throwing up."
Thought it only fitting this Jubilee weekend to snort lines with a 50 note
Your patriotism amazes me, the Queen would be proud!
He said and I quote "Had to beat one off in the Burger King bathroom before I went over." Thats somebody that takes pride in his work.
I remember it because it was right after the sadness and right before the sluttiness. The calm before the storm if you will
Woke up to a note written on my hand that read "just because he kisses you, doesn't mean you have to sleep with him"
next time, write it on your vagina so its more effective.
I think we did. All i know my pants smell like pong water due to the bathroom extravagansa. God I feel like a whore.
I was THIS CLOSE. But drunk me wanted to play those washboard abs with a spoon, like an actual washboard. Apparently that hurts, so I just squished it out at home alone.
Oh my god he's laying on a longboard singing the song from cool runnings.
He looks like he was the one that always had koolaid stains around his mouth as a kid, he can fuck off.
had a nice chat with the older gay fellow who works in the bakery at the new vons about vday...we both feel that it's a day of dashed expectations & concerns that we'll have to be cut out of our spanx
Refresh my memory....were we forced to leave or did we choose to leave?
Only true party girls take their birth control with Smirnoff.
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