what happened last night??
everyone saw ******'s vagina
and that's just the beginning
No, dude. Even Jesus hates Creed.
I dont know whats worse: her telling me she was so drunk i was "almost sexy," the fact that even when theyre shitfaced, im just "almost sexy" to girls, or the fact that i wasnt that offended by it.
Don't judge me. He's really sexy for a 17 year old. We made nasty in the womens bathroom at the beach. Don't worry. I wore sandals in there.
None of that is ok.
Your my favorite hello and hardest goodbye.
And I especially mean that last part, half the time you pass out somewhere and it is impossible to get you to leave.
I really hope he dies in a tragic kegstand mishap
Blacked in riding a tandem bicycle with a stranger. We stopped for hot dogs.
if you need to find her look her up on www.imastupidslut.org
.org?
yeah. they're non profit. helps them sleep at night.
Free tacos and bad night are never used in the same sentence
She's just done the monthly not prego dance around our kitchen
I just power smoked 3 bongs, ate hot cocoa mix before making hot cocoa, and realized James Spader's character on The Office reminds me of your mom.
She's comparing the feel of breasts to shredded cabbage. Weirdest. Grandmother. Ever.
Also, yes, I look pretty rough. But my ovaries fought back this morning so getting dressed decently was not a priority.
She was chasing her shots with beefaroni and I think I fell in love.
Of course you try to burn the house down on the one night we take down the smoke alarm so we can use the fog machine more
Randomize
