He is such a gentleman, he paid for my plan b
i was so high i thought his mole came off and was flying around
I need your advice and before you say it, no, it cannot be solved by a blow job
You clearly don't understand the power you wield with your mouth.
im trying to stop thinking of him and his amazing dick. every time i do i snap myself with a rubber band. classical conditioning at its finest...and you said i wouldnt learn anything from psychology.
Just woke up to find myself in a random bed with two people next to me having sex. I thought it would be awkward to just suddenly get up so i think I'm gonna lie here and pretend I'm still sleeping.
You puked on the bar then proceeded to walk out. I told the bartender some girl walked up, puked and left and he gave me a free drink. Hope you got home safe.
Just got tinder matched with my COMM TA. Game on.
Jesus I should have learned from my first marriage not to get married again
I walked out in my coconut bra, and that's when it all went downhill.
I will pepper spray him so fast I don't even care
Hi. Tara tells me your sandwiches and stamina are substantial
He says the sweetest things but also that he wants to choke me when we fuck so it's kinda perfect.
my grocery list today consisted of condoms. and butter.
umm... whats the butter for?
I never thought I'd be judging my neighbors sex lives before age 30 but here we are
If I hear the phrase 'these unprecedented times' one more time I'm putting my foot up someone's ass.
Randomize
