i woke up with socks on this morning
so?
i didnt wear socks last night
Yes, one should always join a cult. At least once.
I fucking hate vegan toaster pastries. You don't fuck with poptarts. It's like baseball...it's the backbone of american sport and you don't change it. Poptarts are the backbone of american fatasses and you don't just go changing them.
so he made me dinner last pm @whch point i askd if i could help out. he hands me his fucking laundry and asks me 2 do it
only you. it could only happen to you.
I'm going on a nature/throwup walk. Don't lock me out of the apartment.
Man the liquor store just wrong numbered me, its a sign even god wants me to drink
I found a sock full of anal beads in my dryer. At least she washes them.
Helped an old lady on crutches throw away her mcdonalds, carried her stuff to the car and helped her get in...most productive cinco de mayo hands down
I'll be visiting the rave tower. Prepare your finest boxed wines for my consumption.
I'm currently sitting beside my brother who is taking a bath and feeding him nachos while he covers his genitals. If that's not sibling bonding then I don't know what is
I have loved her ever since she went down on my first wife
Aint no party like a Broke College Girls Eating Stuffed Crust Pizza party
I know it's 10:30am but Finding Dory starts in an hour, and I have four points of molly. You down?
My mum just told me to stop being so pathetic and just find someone to have sex with, even if I don't like them, just be grateful for the sex. Wow.
Her blowjob technique? Picture someone attempting to drink a triple thick milkshake through a Capri Sun straw.
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