So, I'm pretty sure I just jacked off and my gf 17 m/o son caught me. IDK how long he was standing in the crib, but he definately saw the grand finale.
She is making me post-sex grilled cheese at 2 am wearing only shorts and cowboy boots. I am so in love
He finally admitted that he was drunk when I asked him how he got the rug burn on his chin and he replied "the worm contest"
For some reason fuck navy didn't go over quite as well as say fuck michigan;
so my class lasted 15 minutes this morning because this kid puked all over himself..only at radford
okay so i know you are missing your wallet but at least its not your tooth. i am missing my tooth.
Doing lines and watching a show on hot dogs around the world ... Why do I do this to myself
Two words that describe last night: naked and backflips.
I don't know. I was hiding and the bed was banging. I am going to sleep now in someone's car.
The worst part was when I went to go spit it out and rinse my mouth, his grandpa was in the bathroom, so I had to fucking wait. It was awful. I finally ran to the kitchen and prayed his parents didn't come out of their room.
so apparently last weekend we taught the mascot how to shotgun beers. am i winning college yet?
When I watch porn and jerk off like 95% of the time Iron Chef is on in the background...
We drunkenly built a couch fort and fucked in it. I've known her since preschool. This was every childhood fantasy mixed with adult dreams come true.
I drunkenly said, "That's my future father-in-law!" And everyone made an uncomfortable / disgusted face... including the aforementioined future father-in-law. Maybe I should start dating other people.
Apparently we fucked, I kicked him out, then he came back and we did it on the coffee table and in the kitchen.
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