He was from Iceland of course I didnt sleep with him, havent you seen Mighty Ducks 2???
i think i recognize dicks better than faces
For future reference, a lint roller appears to be the easiest way to get glitter out of a beard.
just chugged some gatorade and threw it up. todays gonna be awesome
You know you stopped at a liquor store to prepare for a 12-year-old's birthday party, right?
he payed over $300 just to break into the hotel pool and skinny dip alone for 5 minutes and then peace in a cab. and all he had to say for himself was "gotta go swimming, gotta live life"
where do u find these people!?
I'm not as easy in Europe as I am in the US
Only because you can wipe your slut slate clean & start anew. It's a little known benefit of our currency exchange.
I have family pictures in an hour and a half and I'm 9 beers deep. This is how I get written out of my grandparents will...
Your car is in front of my house. Keys are in the mailbox. There is a fire hydrant in your trunk. Happy Birthday
Your first mistake was not throwing your beer at the RA and running
i know you're upset so i should probs be supportive but i've got nothing in that department. your life suuuuucks
I'm toasting stale bread and thinking of you
Is that a sex thing?
I just remembered you throwing bread at me and getting me to drink water out of a heineken bottle. You are my best friend.
It may not have seemed like it to you, but I was very sad that I was cheating on my GF with you. I was crying on the INSIDE.
I just gotta say that I feel so much better now that I got some. I mean I feel like a normal functioning adult ready to contribute to society.
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