I have a walk of shame I should be getting to. "Hey, by the way, what is your name?" is not a conversation I want to have today
I just bought a CD. I feel like a traitor to my generation.
My landlord wasn't pleased about the new fire pit we built him.
yea im pretty sure it has something do with my love of forearms...
Either I got the clap, or I masturbated with soap while I was sleeping.
I deem her datable let the dance of attraction commence
no im not bringing booze its easy, you just challenge a drunk guy to beer pong, he'll hand you two beers, you lose on purpose, and everyone makes fun of you. but we laugh in the end for bringing nothing to a byob
If he thinks that that is an acceptable way to ask me out he is out his goddamn ginger mindddddd.
Shout out to this stomach virus for helping me prepare for whatever slutty Halloween costume I decide to wear.
I don't know, but I assume drunk me had her reasons. I trust her judgement.
I just sat watching friends in the bathtub by candlelight...nights like this make me wonder if I ever want to be in a relationship again
I found a Trump-humping republican virgin born on the goddamn Fourth of July. I NEED to hate-fuck him.
My New Years resolution is actually to be MORE petty
I want you to worship my cock.
That's not how you start a conversation.
You just thought it would be a good idea to show your penis to your best friend. No harm, no foul.
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