I just jerked it to the same porn two nights in a row... and she says I have problems with commitment...
You watched "From Justin to Kelly" and sang along to more than half of the songs. I didn't know whether to laugh or to be insanely frightened that you knew almost all the lyrics.
I hope as the only other living being in this apartment you can explain to me why the toilet was full of cheerios this morning.
Fact: Telling a guy he has erectile dysfunction doesn't solve the problem.
I met the perfect girl for you, she's smart, likes cars, has at least one ear, and really blue eyes!
please elaborate on, "atleast one ear"
I thought he wouldn't talk to me again. You know, what's that saying "why buy the cow when you can fuck it six hours after meeting"
she made a facebook for her toddler.. his likes include lil wayne and ice luge. He has more friends than i do. I mean, Seriously? there's not enough booze in the world to make thanksgiveing bearable
I find it very uncomfortable that I need to ask you to stop sending me pictures of your stomach
Based on the time of Sean's "I'm on your street" phone call last night, we had sex for an hour and a half. Man, time flies when you're getting boned to an orgasmic death.
I mean I kinda plunged vagina first into my last relationship
I'm watching Pretty Woman alone and weaving a basket for Fiona. This is my life.
Seriously, fuck work.
uh yea I'm curled up in the trunk of my car
Saw a thong on the yellow lines of the street when I left this morning, are they yours by any chance?
I'm just hoping that with all the times he's puked in my yard a mushroom field might grow.
It was like a baby arm holding another baby arm holding an apple grove. Fuckin huge!
Randomize
