There's this guy beside me dancing with this girl with no panties on. When I looked at him he said he's babysitting his bestfriend's girlfriend since he can't come out.
What a good friend
Her vagina smelled like chicken
why do you say that
chicken smells like everything
i'm considering texting him with "i'm leaving the country for a year, wanna fuck?"
do it. it's every man's dream.
Only your vagina holds the key to what happened last night.
scratch lunch, i just found about 7 more dicks drawn on my back
Be here at 3:30. We'll find out how much beer can fit in a Mini Cooper.
I refuse to have another spring break doomed by pregnancy.
No, I don't not want an upside down piggyback ride. You're drunk and there are rocks.
I somehow ended up with a bottle of red wine in one hand and white in the other and would drink them at the same time. Ruined
That's not how these arrangements work. You don't buy each other stuff unless you break a sex toy. End of story.
She has a boyfriend. But if he's a decent human being he understands blowjobs don't count as cheating with her. Keeping those miracles to himself is a crime against humanity.
We pretended the crowd cheering the Thunder's win was cheering for us while we had sex on the couch.
I drank toilet water last night, I can't answer you because my phone is in rice.
I remember eating bacon bits off your chest that night... I'll never look at bacon pizza the same way
This town reeks of teen pregnancy.
Randomize
