WAKE UP. GET ME THE PILL. AND SAVE MY LIFE
Well hello freshman 15, didn't see you there until I tried on last years summer clothes.
the semester isnt officially over until i take the batteries out of my calculator and put them back into my vibrator
she is medically diagnosed as a nympho. she has the paper to prove it. hell. fucking. yeah.
I wish his dick was as long as his hair.
not to mention it took an hour of antique roadshow to calm my dick down
She just looked down there and said "i breed horses. this is better than anything ive ever seen."
Either call me back or tell me you're in jail. For fucks sake. If this is a cop, just help out. national league.
I rang in the new year by giving a lap dance to a Lutheran minister in a roomful of people including his wife. Jesus would be proud.
NATIONAL GIVE A BOSTON COP A BLOW JOB BITCH ROAD TRIP NOW
Standing here wondering if its a good idea to cook pork chops in the toaster or not.
Goodnight Shia. Goodnight Moon.
how drunk are you?
Several
Rarely does a man I fucked with upgrade from me
Are you coming over for scrambled eggs and hand jobs?
Randomize
