i just saw a girl w/ a shirt that said "im the single friend." yeah i bet u r. stop wearing shirts like that and that could change.
A guy at the bar bought me a jag bomb because I'm the chick that frosts his donuts at KT. Never have I been more proud of being a failure at life.
he was so nervous about his first time.. it was like michael j. fox trying to put on a condom...
Your TV has the DVD menu for White Chicks permanently burned into the screen. I can't anymore. That's just a whole different level that I cannot comprehend.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I feel like I spend my weeks apologizing for my weekends.
He's Hawaiian. Thank god it wasnt a real American
Either I'm losing my touch or ED is running rampant in 20 something men now
somebody put my brain in a crown royal bag and beat the shit out of it
Hey do you think you can sew an adult onsie with easy access if you know what I mean!!?? It must have bunny feet.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You were throwing up and said, "Whipe my face, I must look presentable at all times."
I don't miss having sex with him. We had our finale fuck last week. He's all yours now.
Six words: 3rd Degree Burn On My Dick
If we tried baptizing you I feel the water would start boiling around you.
How have you never felt a dick as hard as mine?
Should I apologize for the loud sex I had in his living room? Because I'm not going to.
Definitely not.
Randomize