just the thought makes me want to clean my vag with a clorox wipe
Everyone agrees they like your mother better drunk
he rubbed his balls on my face to wake me up.. this friends with benefits thing is getting out of hand.
the cashier ate half of our fries before she gave them to us so i think it's safe to say they don't do drug testing there
Will it be a clothes optional week when I get there? I have an amazing outfit of tattoos and toenail polish planned.
Please collect your boy friend. He semi-passed out on the couch and trying to grab bums as people walk by. Anyone's bum, he's not choosy.
i wore a power symbol belly button ring just so i can drunkenly tell him that he turns me on. i dont care if it works i think its classy
I'm sorry for drunkenly throwing a spoon at you and then laughing at your pain.
I said no to friends with benefits because it was too much commitment
MY HAND WILL BE UP HIS ASS IF HE DOES NOT APOLOGIZE FOR WHAT HE DID. IT WON'T BE THE GOOD-FEELING KIND OF "HAND-UP-ASS" EITHER.
Atleast we had sex on the couch before your ex took it from you
Look fucker, my sensibility and attention to detail is the ONLY REASON you're not dead now
Nate is still in lock up because when the cop informed me he'd shit his pants in the squad car I declined to post bail.
I feel like 20 angels jizzed in my mouth. This cupcake is DELICIOUS!
My cat is sitting in the window watching the neighbor's dogs doing it. I think she's lonely too.
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