porn star on stage now. Get unkicked out.
you should wait a day or two to break up with your girlfriend
why?
so we can have sex in the meantime. It adds a little excitement.
Just drove past a church with a sign near it that said, "God wants to be your daddy."
i've never heard her scream louder than when the koreans scored. what am i lacking in bed?
Kegstand on crutches, you need to get on my level.
you know what would be perfect? if you flew in on a horse/cat holding taco bell and then you swooped me up and took me to disney world and it was magical
You were running around waving the flier in everyone's face and thats how we ended up in a church eating free breakfast tacos at 3 am
Why were my jeans in the freezer of the mini fridge, and how long have they been in there? On another note, I found my teacher's ID badge.
He left his boxers here. Can I keep them and make a shrine or would that be creepy?
But wait then while giving his drive thru order he goes in mid sentence, "Hey baby it's Travis remember me?"
I thought i didnt really feel whatever i snorted last night until i just realized i think i asked this dude to punch me fight club style
He used one of his curtains as a leash and hand restraints. He wins the creative sex challenge hands down.
As we were walking to her place she stole a pizza from the delivery guy's car and when we got home she grabbed a slice, two beers, removed her pants, and said "call of duty?" im going to marry her
we thought it would be safer to lock you in the car alone downtown than take you back home to pass out
He had a tattoo of the Batman logo around his asshole. I noped right the hell out of there.
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