lol you are funny thanks bro I'll take you to a strip club
I don't wanna go to a strip club I'd rather get my boobs free or earn them from a series of good deeds
Ha! What's wrong with that? Hard work deserves compensation. I accept cash, checks, and boobies!
have you ever wondered what it would feel like to stick those coneheads in your vaj
omg every time its on
Now I'll never know if Megan finds a millionaire.
Hemmingway ran to paris to avoid going to the university of illinois and becoming a doctor. It was there he developed a drinking problem. I need a plane ticket.
i just realized i've hooked up with every boy in this taco bell
That's the classiest thing you've ever said.
Some guy said that sham wows were the same as regular shammys. needless to say you had to be restrained. you kept trying to 'slap chop' him.
I don't think my arm is broken I can still text
I started making breakfast to subdue the hangover and last of the shrooms and only got as far as eating a half frozen pierogi out of a dixie cup.
Caprisun cuts tequila surprisingly well...
My party ended early and I have a mountain of shrimp and weed
Just packed vodka and spare underwear into my purse- totally set for watching the hockey with him tonight
I slept with six men with different nationalities this week. Who says I'm not a woman of culture?
if having to see my ex’s dick once in a while is the price I pay to the universe for making my life go a little smoother, I’ll take it
He gave us beer and shots and made us pizza in his brick oven before firing a handgun into the air to signal it was time to give us a ride in his inflatable raft to the bars.
He's like a mythological figure
For the love of all that is holy just take the tranquilizers Erica
Randomize
