She said I could do whatever I wanted to her. I pumped for 20 seconds, apologized, rolled over and passed out. I sit directly across from her at work. Awkward?
Do you have any idea how hard it is to cum to Chingy?!
I've already come up with two plans that will probably end with me getting kicked out of here. You guys should come faster.
we went from five shot glasses to three in one night. we lost 'badass' and gumbi, but the ninja turtle survived. courtney says to avoid any more casualties we're not allowed to use shot glasses past 1am. and we're not allowed to throw them
The best part of last night was the women's softball game on the TV at the strip club
I just ordered 30 klonopins from India that could probably be anything from Viagra to Midol. You need to find another friend to get advice from right now
I feel like I should throw some tampons around my workspace so everyone will know what's really going on
I'd help you out but I got Bacardi and Tequila poured down my snorkel last night and I'm still drunk
Elliott peed on my floor and slept in it lol that's a one line description.
I was just thinking about all the dick I could catch while I am home. But then I realized I am too lazy to get out of my pjs and leave my cat.
Apparently I've texted the word shitfucked so much it auto-completes it now.
I am literally watching TV with sunglasses on because the brightness hurts my hangover
I got snowed in at my parent's. everyone's asleep so I'm smoking a joint in my old room and watching Tarzan on a 12" tv.
They must be so glad to have you home...
I drank Dr. Pepper and instant breakfast mix together and threw up sober for the first time.
It was platonic naked porno viewing, I swear.
Randomize
