Hehe I wanna Australian kiss.. Its like a French kiss but down under ;)
I havent jerked off in so long, my dick literally prevented me from rolling over in my sleep this morning. new definition of painful?
he just wrote my ten page research paper for tit pics. i love my boobs.
i thought they made a 7-hour walmart run, but they were actually in jail.
I tried to put a seat belt on in the shower. And I'm 80% sure I ate soap.
oh yea it is. i was not expecting to look at a snowbank and just see flying mushrooms
Taking my infected piercing out in the parking lot of the food card place. This is one of those life defining moments that makes me sad.
When someone comes out of your vagina and stomps on your dreams, you'll understand.
YOU ARE SO GOD DAMN LOUD AND YOU'RE SHAKING THE GOD DAMN HOUSE. FUCKING STOP.
i was the only bi girl at the frat party. i felt like the last cresent roll at thanksgiving
In my drunk state I was like I ONLY HAD SEX WITH SOMEONE ELSE BECAUSE HE WAS THE HOTTEST GUY IVE EVER EVEN SEEN
Topless Tuesday? One of us will be really happy the other not so much.
Sitting on the toilet ... Eatin pizza with one hand, petting my cat with the other. I love a sad drunken life
The waitress at the Denny's in usa remembered me from 2 years ago when we went at 4 in the morning plastered, wearing overalls and huge inflatable corona hats on our heads
I really hope this is just a phase, because I am not capable of carrying both of our drunken whore asses through life. Too much dead weight....
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