Thats the last time I go out drinking with my Irish friends. Two shots of flaming sambucca = bar on fire. I was only trying to high five the barman.
I just wnated to let you know that I laminated my history notes so i can study in the shower.
just took my abortion antibiotic with my martini. i no longer wonder how i got into this situation.
She definitely looked like a troll, but I had take one for the team. Or at least thats what I keep telling myself
If you're fucking that other dude, I'll take the sloppy seconds. I don't care.
He cheated on me in real life. I can cheat at words with friends.
No exaggeration. At the gas station she handed me the mop from over the counter and told me that's my last drink of the night
I'll be on pinterest all night planning crafty things to do with my cats in 10 years.
Would you even take no as an answer? I have a feeling you see it more as a challenge.
BGSU move in weekend. Just passed a house w a beer pong table set up, ppl already playing, girls holding signs that say "son drop off". It's 10:30 am.
we will now reference it as "the infamous double dick night"
I have rug burns on my nipples. Thanks for being an awesome wing girl.
Dude I just clenched/unclenched my hindquarters while looking in the mirror I have fucking talent
sorry i got drunk at sunday brunch and force fed carrot sticks to your cat
This is why I can't take dates to shows... I've literally made out with everyone in this band. And two of the guys in the crowd. And the bartender.
Randomize
