So drunk its hurt
once the "do it" chant starts, any shot at an even remotely dignified party experience is dead.
and unfortunately for you, hallmark doesnt make a "sorry i was getting a blowie in the backseat of your car while you were driving, projectiled my jizz onto your hand, and caused you to crash" card
working out is totally making me break out.. i'm doomed to forever be either a butterface or a butterbod. there is no way out.
Lets start the night off early. Those Coronas arent going to throw themselves up.
Okay I woke up in my room, snuggie on, had a water bottle in my hand my tv was on Disney channel and my cigarettes are gone. And I deleted every text in my phone but one that said 'you are absolutely welcome'
He came to the party late, didn't bring tacos, and then asked what shennanigans we were getting into. I swear I will never fuck another hipster.
we should look into getting a golf cart for the weekend. i have a feeling legs wont be a sufficient source of transportation.
Drunk wound on my leg hast healed and neither has my dignity
Happy "I'm glad our dad made us sisters and then summarily downgraded himself to sperm donor" day.
So after the absinthe shots_____(fill in the blank area for me please)......
I was at a hookups house and peed in his sink so I wouldn't wake up his mom... drunk me is on a different level
Yes we can sext. I'm taking my socks off.
u better not lose ur virginity to a sugar daddy who doesn’t post a pic of himself to tinder
She made me baby bird juul smoke to her while we were fucking
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