lets make a pact to never make a pregnancy pact
i fucked a milf yesterday.
i'm not impressed, in this generation that could technically mean a 16 year old.
she called for a booty call so i sent mike as my stunt double
Have you ever had one of those moments when you kept whispering to yourself "I'm not a slut, I'm not a slut..."?
it wasnt a pity fuck per say. i wasnt attracted to her, but still thought 'that looks like a fun ride'
I hit a child with a fudge sickle from a moving vehicle after he flipped me off, I feel like a God. Tell no one. My partner didn't see it.
No my first time having an orgasm with you will not be on face time
Whats proper etiquette for apologizing to your wife for being so drunk you stood up and pissed on the bedroom floor next to the bed?
Turns out she left way earlier. So I'm stuck with this guy asking where he can score meth and if I'm really straight.
Lol yeah. Because I just woke him up to blow him for being hot.
idk i usually just blame everything on steve
Steve quit two months ago
She is 6 months pregnant and gets more action at bars than I do.
Hey, if a dude can't randomly belt out Whitney Houston tunes from time to time, is life really worth living??
Im so drunk and the cops showed up so i ran on all 4's through the woods because i had no shoes hoping they would mistake me for a fox
He had me sit on his face until I begged him to stop, then held me there 5 minutes longer. I rested my head on his chest, told him I needed time to recover....and slept for 6 hours. By the time I woke, he was already at work. I just sent him a countdown times until his shift is over.
Randomize
