I just saw a hobo shake a payphone until it spat out a bunch of quarters. what a champ.
Coming down off exstacy at a church event. Resisting the urge to dance to the church hymns.
Abreva sucks. I applied it as directed and now it looks like I fed the herpes. They're throwing a party on my bottom lip.
I thought his dick was headless. then I pulled back the foreskin.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Maybe someone other than the mad hatter should have gone with him to the ER
The fish's death was accidental. We all said a few words at his funeral. Roomie wanted to play only the good die young as he swirled down the toilet bowl
Apparently you need a permit for a flamethrower.
The fact that when I blacked in you were sober enough to kick me out of your roommates bed makes me question our friendship.
At 27 it's no longer called 'slutty', it's called having a healthy sex life...
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Best ethics paper a stoner could write. I called my professor Dr. Superfly Arandia. And I'm pretty sure I used "respect the hustle" somewhere in there too.
Watching a bear prancing around in a tiara is worth a loss of bar time.
My liver appreciates your vow of avoiding matrimony
Apparently calling shotgun while getting put into a police car is frowned upon
I woke up to some strange woman rubbing peanut butter on my thighs
Xanax and full house Tuesday is now Percocet Sunday
Randomize