Now that the fun of having an iPhone has worn off I find that using screen as a coke tray is by far my favorite app
My boss just gave me full permission to come into work wasted this weekend.
You know you're on day 1 of your period when the new mcdonalds commercial makes you cry
can you call in chlamydia to work? like if the antibiotics they gave you for it are giving you the shits...
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
just saw someone climb out of the dumpster at cvs and start walking down the street like it was completely normal
the bride at the wedding we just crashed said we can stay only if we strip for her. You need to get down here
My mouth taste like pussy and my dad noticed. Hahahaha
I can't believe you didn't come out. There was a duckling ON THE BAR!
What I've learned from glowsticks: glowing things are not safe to eat
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Woke up this morning with a darth vader helmet and a bath robe on with my toenails shitly painted
If you sleep with another manager before the year is up you'll deserve an accomplishment sticker.
The moment when you and your BFF compare frequently used emojis and realize you have similar mental disorders and a really weak alibi.
Apparently I bought a laptop last night, then gave the laptop to a friend who was going to give it to her friends' friend to put some cool shit on it. Anyway, I have no idea where my new laptop is now.
Ok so I need a recap of last night...
YOU SPENT SIX DOLLARS AT NICKEL BEER NIGHT!!! How's that
"Plot twist... I'm straight."
Randomize