HIV tests are more positive than that guy
i dont think my boyfriend knows how much of a pain it is to shave my ass
Whats the glycemic index on semen?
a kid in a transformers shirt tried to pick me up last night at work. he also rolled up on a bicycle, the kind with pedals. do i look that easy?
My dad is complaining about how his computer keeps getting viruses. I don't have the heart to tell him he needs to stop downloading so much porn.
I seriously need to stop naming my lingerie sets after the boys I wear them for. I seriously just asked mom if she put Brett in the dryer
Bad news is he broke up with me via text message
But the good news is I've returned as mayor of whoreville
stripped for him at 3am on my childhood playground and used the swing set as a pole.
How do I tell my Dad that in the picture he has of me and my brother as the background of his phone we were both rolling face on ecstasy?
id say I'm a pretty good fuck buddy, i didn't even booty call him on his girlfriends birthday
Is it socially acceptable to stop at the strip club for the lunch buffet on my way to the airport?
I had to write an apology letter to my roomate for hotboxing in our bathroom. What a bitch.
I've decided to have sex with him one more time to make sure I don't like him
We had sex on a couch that was held together by Velcro. Want to know an unsexy sound? Velcro ripping apart under your bare ass.
I guess I'm famous. Hot lesbian was WARNED about me. Still hooked up with her.
I'll pay you to teach me.
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